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Football Absurdity teams
10
bn
6
mon
0
qb
1
rb
2
wr
2
te
1
rw
0
wt
0
rwt
1
qrwt
0
patd
4
rutd
6
retd
6
payd
0.04
ruyd
0.1
reyd
0.1
att
0
cmp
0
inc
0
int
-1
car
0
fum
-2
rec
0.5
August 10 2025
QUARTERBACK
VALUE TM NAME PTS/WK #
$ 0 BUF Josh Allen +4.4 1
$ 0 BAL Lamar Jackson +4.4 2
$ 0 PHI Jalen Hurts +3.4 3
$ 0 WAS Jayden Daniels +3.2 4
$ 0 CIN Joe Burrow +2.4 5
$ 0 KC Patrick Mahomes II +1.5 6
$ 0 TB Baker Mayfield +1.2 7
$ 0 ARI Kyler Murray +1.1 8
$ 0 SF Brock Purdy +0.5 9
$ 0 DEN Bo Nix +0.4 10
$ 0 NYJ Justin Fields +0.0 11
$ -0 LAC Justin Herbert -0.5 12
$ -0 DET Jared Goff -0.6 13
$ -0 MIN J.J. McCarthy -0.6 14
$ -0 DAL Dak Prescott -0.6 15
$ -0 CHI Caleb Williams -0.8 16
$ -0 HOU C.J. Stroud -1.3 17
$ -0 GB Jordan Love -1.3 18
$ -0 NE Drake Maye -1.6 19
$ -0 JAC Trevor Lawrence -1.6 20
TIGHT END
VALUE TM NAME PTS/WK #
$ 0 LV Brock Bowers +5.0 1
$ 0 ARI Trey McBride +4.4 2
$ 0 SF George Kittle +4.0 3
$ 0 DET Sam LaPorta +1.9 4
$ 0 BAL Mark Andrews +1.8 5
$ 0 KC Travis Kelce +1.7 6
$ 0 MIN T.J. Hockenson +1.6 7
$ 0 CLE David Njoku +1.3 8
$ 0 GB Tucker Kraft +0.2 9
$ 0 DEN Evan Engram +0.0 10
$ 0 IND Tyler Warren +0.0 11
RUNNING BACK
VALUE TM NAME PTS/WK #
$ 0 PHI Saquon Barkley +7.2 1
$ 0 ATL Bijan Robinson +6.9 2
$ 0 DET Jahmyr Gibbs +6.9 3
$ 0 SF Christian McCaffrey +5.3 4
$ 0 BAL Derrick Henry +5.0 5
$ 0 MIA De'Von Achane +4.9 6
$ 0 GB Josh Jacobs +4.4 7
$ 0 LV Ashton Jeanty +4.1 8
$ 0 LAR Kyren Williams +3.5 9
$ 0 IND Jonathan Taylor +3.4 10
$ 0 TB Bucky Irving +3.1 11
$ 0 CIN Chase Brown +3.0 12
$ 0 BUF James Cook +2.4 13
$ 0 NO Alvin Kamara +2.2 14
$ 0 NYJ Breece Hall +2.0 15
$ 0 ARI James Conner +1.9 16
$ 0 SEA Kenneth Walker III +1.8 17
$ 0 LAC Omarion Hampton +1.5 18
$ 0 CAR Chuba Hubbard +1.2 19
$ 0 CHI D'Andre Swift +0.8 20
$ 0 MIN Aaron Jones Sr. +0.7 21
$ 0 DET David Montgomery +0.5 22
$ 0 HOU Joe Mixon +0.3 23
$ 0 TEN Tony Pollard +0.2 24
$ 0 NE TreVeyon Henderson +0.0 25
$ -0 KC Isiah Pacheco -0.6 26
$ -0 DEN RJ Harvey -0.7 27
$ -0 WAS Brian Robinson Jr. -0.9 28
$ -0 PIT Kaleb Johnson -0.9 29
$ -0 NYG Tyrone Tracy Jr. -1.1 30
$ -0 PIT Jaylen Warren -1.1 31
$ -0 DAL Javonte Williams -2.0 32
$ -0 DEN J.K. Dobbins -2.3 33
$ -0 WAS Austin Ekeler -2.3 34
$ -0 NE Rhamondre Stevenson -2.6 35
$ -0 JAC Travis Etienne Jr. -2.6 36
$ -0 SEA Zach Charbonnet -2.8 37
$ -0 MIN Jordan Mason -2.8 38
$ -0 TB Rachaad White -3.0 39
$ -0 CLE Quinshon Judkins -3.1 40
$ -0 TEN Tyjae Spears -3.2 41
WIDE RECEIVER
VALUE TM NAME PTS/WK #
$ 0 CIN Ja'Marr Chase +7.0 1
$ 0 MIN Justin Jefferson +5.0 2
$ 0 DAL CeeDee Lamb +4.4 3
$ 0 LAR Puka Nacua +4.0 4
$ 0 DET Amon-Ra St. Brown +3.7 5
$ 0 NYG Malik Nabers +3.7 6
$ 0 HOU Nico Collins +3.3 7
$ 0 JAC Brian Thomas Jr. +3.2 8
$ 0 PHI A.J. Brown +2.5 9
$ 0 MIA Tyreek Hill +2.5 10
$ 0 ATL Drake London +2.4 11
$ 0 LAC Ladd McConkey +2.2 12
$ 0 TB Mike Evans +1.8 13
$ 0 CIN Tee Higgins +1.8 14
$ 0 WAS Terry McLaurin +1.7 15
$ 0 LAR Davante Adams +1.7 16
$ 0 SEA Jaxon Smith-Njigba +1.5 17
$ 0 ARI Marvin Harrison Jr. +1.2 18
$ 0 NYJ Garrett Wilson +1.0 19
$ 0 PIT DK Metcalf +1.0 20
$ 0 CHI DJ Moore +0.8 21
$ 0 DEN Courtland Sutton +0.6 22
$ 0 BAL Zay Flowers +0.6 23
$ 0 KC Xavier Worthy +0.4 24
$ 0 PHI DeVonta Smith +0.3 25
$ 0 TEN Calvin Ridley +0.1 26
$ 0 CLE Jerry Jeudy +0.0 27
$ -0 DET Jameson Williams -0.1 28
$ -0 DAL George Pickens -0.1 29
$ -0 LV Jakobi Meyers -0.2 30
$ -0 MIA Jaylen Waddle -0.5 31
$ -0 SF Jauan Jennings -0.6 32
$ -0 WAS Deebo Samuel Sr. -0.6 33
$ -0 TB Chris Godwin -0.7 34
$ -0 GB Jayden Reed -1.0 35
$ -0 NO Chris Olave -1.0 36
$ -0 NE Stefon Diggs -1.1 37
$ -0 JAC Travis Hunter -1.1 38
$ -0 KC Rashee Rice -1.1 39
$ -0 CAR Tetairoa McMillan -1.2 40
$ -0 GB Matthew Golden -1.2 41
$ -0 CHI Rome Odunze -1.2 42
$ -0 SEA Cooper Kupp -1.4 43
$ -0 BUF Khalil Shakir -1.6 44
$ -0 BUF Keon Coleman -1.7 45
$ -0 SF Ricky Pearsall -1.7 46
$ -0 IND Michael Pittman Jr. -1.7 47
$ -0 ATL Darnell Mooney -1.8 48
$ -0 NO Rashid Shaheed -1.8 49
$ -0 MIN Jordan Addison -1.9 50
$ -0 DEN Marvin Mims Jr. -2.4 51
$ -0 IND Josh Downs -2.5 52
$ -0 LAC Keenan Allen -2.7 53
$ -0 SF Brandon Aiyuk -2.7 54
$ -0 BAL Rashod Bateman -2.8 55
$ -0 KC Marquise Brown -3.1 56
$ -0 CAR Adam Thielen -3.2 57
$ -0 CLE Cedric Tillman -3.2 58

The PTS/WK (VORP) column shows you how many more points per week are expected from this player, relative to the best bench player at this position.

Auction draft:

The COST column scales the VORP value based on your league budget.
This means, for example, that if you see QB Mahomes at $90 and TE Pitts at $10, they should have the same fantasy value as QB Hurts at $10 and TE Kelce at $90.
The concept of this chart is to help you find the best value for your money. You should see the COST column as "never go about this price".
Your goal during the auction is to acquire as many players as you can for prices below this COST value. That means you're getting more points per dollar than the average. You should have a more robust roster, as well as money left for bench players.

Snake draft:

The VALUE column compares the player's VORP to the projected starters at his position. This tells you how important this player is relative to others at his position.
This means, for example, that QB Mahomes at +10 PTS/WK might seem to have the same value as TE Kelce at +10 PTS/WK, but there might be several QBs that are close to +10 PTS/WK, while there are no other TEs close to +10 PTS/WK. Kelce has a higher value overall, because no one else at that position is a good substitute.

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