Everyone has a Sabre Bandit in their lives. The Sabre Bandit is the one who figures out, “hey, if I intentionally suck at everything asked of me, people will stop asking me to do stuff. BONUS! Then everything I put at least half an effort into will get me praise! Hey, look at me, I didn’t take the garbage out for 18 years. Now, when I finally scoop up some of the trash which infests my home/RV/front office, everyone will go nuts for me!”
Suffice to say, this personality type is among the most clever. However, their inevitable desire to phone everything in always holds them back from true achievement. This is the kind of person who, at best, finishes Summa Cum Laude, and, at worst, finishes Summa Cum Laude at four consecutive graduations.
Now that we’ve detailed the good things about Sabre Bandits, let’s talk about their more-reproachable tendencies. You know how in every movie with a bully, there’s always that weasely little right-hand-man to the bully? A guy who makes up for his small stature by being utterly devoid of any moral integrity? Sabre bandits are that guy’s sidekick.
Sabre Bandits get the most out of life by working in large groups. This isn’t because they work well in large groups, it’s because they will always have someone to do their share of the work, or take them blame as a group, when in fact there was one severe under-performer that brought everyone down. Every single American baby boomer or Soviet Russian was this personality type. All of them.
Not happy with your results? Take the quiz again. This time be either more or less honest.
For more articles like these, check out:
Hot Takes from Crazy People: Eagles-Rams Was Just Like The Last Jedi
Four other Things Cam Newton Finds Funny (When Asked by a Female Reporter)
